females are such weird creatures.
we always dont do wat we say,
we always dont mean wat we say.
and when we are actually doing wat we said, and mean wat we said,
we tend to back out, change our mind, hesitate.
and starts to wonder, whether if the decision is correct or not.
whether if we will live to regret in the future or not.
i find it absurd too.
and i cant stand it myself.
i hate my hesitation.
i hate my swaying thoughts.
i hate my indecisiveness.
and i hate myself for being so easily psycho-ed.
becoz for one thing - im afraid of making the wrong move.
thats my extremely weak point. n probably my hard-to-change personality. for i belongs to the group of pp who seeks perfection and allows no mistakes. when there's mistakes seen, i tend to back out. i tend to lose confidence. i tend to be disappointed and gave up easily.
i've been ranting n ranting all these whiles, bout seeking a better iron-rice-bowl. but yet now when i'm really in the real situation, having the need to type in my last letter to the current iron-rice-bowl.. i felt like crying. tots of wonderful moments to the most disgusting irritable memories came flooding into my mind. i tot, i will so gonna miss all these times. i might even miss the complaints and naggings from the customers of my iron-rice-bowl. i will miss the pp sharing the same iron-rice-bowl as me. i will miss the place my iron-rice-bowl is in. i will also miss the 'playing' and working time with the pp who always hang stethoscopes around their neck, and at the end of the day, we definitely felt satisfied and happy for what we did to help our customers. Afterall, leaving a place where i belonged to for the past 2.5years was not an easy good-bye.
a part of me felt like backing out. but yet a part of me sees a better light ahead. tats life. always causing you to be in a dilemna. always requiring you to make a decision. n i supposed my friends will all think im out of my mind. to stay on, i'll rant. to move on, i'll also rant. so wats wrong wif me? i seriously don't know. i'm always never happy with all the things. and it is only this year tat i noticed i got worse. think i'm suffering from some 22 year old kind of disease. getting emo over, trivial matters. (chey,)
well, dont have to bother about me. i'm just pouring out my thoughts. talking to friends bout these i guess they will only feel like slapping me. (hah.)
i supposed, i'll still choose the better light ahead. all i need is just someone to push me on if i ever turn my head to look behind.
someone pls tell me how to deal with her. everyday see her makes my blood boil. i really feel like slapping her la.
i cant believe that someone can actually be so scheming la. she's juz too much la. she knows every wed nobody wans to do SQ's echo. she jolly well knows wed aftnoon noones will be delighted to accept this challenging tough job to handle 3 SQ cases. BUT all along SQ got her so called 'fav' techs that she prefer. so isnt it right to say that, she can juz put the 'fav' pp up to do SQ's cases to make EVERYONE'S LIFE better and easier? she's juz butt itchy, out to make lives difficult for everyone. she juz wan to make pp hate her la. i really donno wat her brain is made up of la. no EQ. no boss's material. no care for the employees.
fuk la. i really cant stand her. she's getting too overboard. she has instructed the 'fav' grp of pp NOT TO SWOP duties wif us for SQ sessions. these pp are so afraid of her, tat as long as she nv gifs green light, nobody is supposed to change wif us. bloody fuk. cst tried her luck last wk, failed. i tot i hav a lil bit of luck, so i tried this wk n i failed too. its like i havent been doing SQ's sessions for since when i started echo? or i shld say i have nv done her sessions at all other than once being sabo-ed by her. i can still rmb very clearly she juz told me to 'hao zi wei zi' when i first did SQ echo. its like, wtf la? u nv put pp to train me for SQ and u threw me to die, n u still got the cheek to tell me hao zi wei zi. this matter i don pursue liao since it happened so long ago. n now she put me to do SQ again! bloody fuk la. im really pissed la, serious. i donno y on earth such person exist. she's so fake.
i can confirm guarantee chop tml SQ sure shoot me one. no matter how nice my echo images can be, no matter how hard i tried to beautify the images, i sure kena bombed. n i will die terribly. those nv work wif her wouldnt know. but she's tat horrible. she's 10000000times worse than dzp. we call her 'empress dowager', so u can imagine how reputable she is, n how much her words weigh. if she's bad mood tml, i tell u.. good game to me.
haiz i donno if i can take it tml. i really really really feel very stressed doing her echo. she can scold u until like u're total useless dumb person n u're not fit to do echo at all. she can dampened ur confidence so much that u don hav the courage to do the next echo case. if i really cry tml, i wont continue the next echo case liao. i will go awol.
be like this again, i will hand in my letter. its not like other places don wan me n this place is not the only place that needs techs.
trust me. i hate this dreadful place. i hate the corked up management. i hate it!