oh no. seems like my life's only revolvin round one word - tired.

i donno why. but it seemed tat whenever i blog, 'tired' will juz appear in my entry. hmmm, im indeed tired. but i donno why. im even tired now. god. or izzit i slept too much? tats y im so lethargic nowadays? *shruggs*

im havin headache again. so tired. tired of everythin. been not on gd terms wif my family these days. seemed like im an eyesore to them. watever i do, watever i say, they don seem to be happy. e more they nag at me, e more i'll juz do things tat pissed them off even more. they're always comparin me wif other pp. wats so good bout comparin wif others? its a lose-lose situation anywae. sometimes, i juz feel quite inferior towards my sis. watever. maybe her studies is juz way better than mine. so wat? she's in a gd sch, whereas im frm a bad sch. tanglin. is tat so bad? my mum's frm tanglin oso. then y is she comparin schs wif me n my sis? she din say out. but i knoe, she's obviously comparin us. ok fine. so wat if im in poly now? does she tinks tat i really don wan to be in jc? she sounded like as if im a total failure now. i too wished to pursue all e way into uni. but sometimes luck's juz not wif me. jc jc jc. this word had been in my mind all e time. how i wished if i had stayed on in jc. maybe things arent e same as wat im facin now. sometimes i juz felt tat jc's got some pressure to keep me goin on wif my studies. but poly doesnt hav. i felt terrible. i nd motivation. but, on e other hand, wat pp motivates me wif, cant get me goin on. i donno. sometimes i juz wished tat im born an orphan. w/o parents naggin. can hav all e freedom i wan. i knoe they're concern bout my welfare, wan me to do well, but.. their method they used on me, juz wont work. n its so obvious tat they're concern bout face value. so wat if some pp's made a name out of themselves? so wat if they're graduates frm those top jcs, top universities? pls loh. they are makin my life more inferior than wat im livin now. u cant possibly kept makin someone's morale down, n expect them to do well rite? so far in my life, i din get encouragements frm them. or rather, even if i got, its juz few words tats all. maybe some red packets followed by. all i had to keep me goin on was my friends n band. together wif my fightin spirit, followin me all e way until aft o's. but somehow, e fire in me juz died down. no enthusiasm, no fightin spirit. no. nothing at all. i donno wat to do. plus all e other probs i had. im juz so tired. i wan to run away frm reality. but tat wont help at all. im really at a loss.

anywae, on e other hand, its been so long since i met up wif my 1st 3 mths friends. felt gd aft meetin alvin up for dinner. then he said somethin. said tat on my bdae tat dae, given his experience, might hav lots of stuffs happenin on tat dae. *shruggs* i donno. hopfully, i don wan to land myself into another pile of mess. sent me home aft tat. hmmm, nice guy. but don get mistaken. not aimin him anywae. lolx..

i-am-juz-totally-cooped-up-with-problems.