11.00 am >> woke up wif a blur n fearful mind..
y? coz results are out todae. lolx. whether to pass or fail, its all juz between a fine line.
11.05am >> com's on. log on to sas.
aft loggin on to sas, i close e window. hahas! coz im afraid to look at e results. no choice, got to open another window n log in again. ya, me a weirdo. lolx. this feelin's far more worse than gettin results for olvl or for e pae or jae exercise.. e feelin's... undescribable.
11.15am >> saw my results n yesh! i did it. finally my daes of fear were gone. no more 3rd dec for me. though its not gd results, nor was is satisfyin to me. but im still glad tat i passed. cellbio. nv did i tot tat i'd actually pass cellbio. ok, ytd nite had 2 dreams. one dream was tat i passed cellbio juz by border lined marks. then i woke up. grinned n glad tat i passed. but my smile faded off as i brought myself back to reality. it was juz a dream. lolx. went back to slp. this time i dreamt tat i failed. it was horrible. n i woke up in a cold sweat. n tat explained y i closed my window aft i logged on to sas. lolx.. okies. my results, no a's as i had expected. nor any distinctions. its all b's, b+'s, c's n c+'s wif 1 d+.. not bad la. lookin at how i slacked thru e whole semester n burnin e last bit of midnight oil. only started revision 1 or 2 daes before e exams. i can actually passed my cellbio. no braggins here but e fact now is tat i passed my cellbio! *big fat grinns* ok back to topic. aft gettin results back. i know i did not fantastic at all, but i dread havin pp who obviously scored far better than me to actually tell me tat they did badly. ok fine. maybe pp hav far higher targets than i had. *shruggs*
i donno. im in a terrible state of mind now. being looked upon as a thorn in e flesh of e family. how do i actually make them know tat i do care bout e family n i am tryin to change myself to e ideal daughter tat they demand for? im tryin to but they aint givin me time to change. yet blamin tat i've mix wif e wrong cliques of friends since sec sch. they cant juz demand a total change in a person in juz a nite rite. wats worse, blamin my friends instead. im so disappointed. wif myself n my family. seekin for perfectionism is definitely e weakness tat worsen e relationship of e family.
y? coz results are out todae. lolx. whether to pass or fail, its all juz between a fine line.
11.05am >> com's on. log on to sas.
aft loggin on to sas, i close e window. hahas! coz im afraid to look at e results. no choice, got to open another window n log in again. ya, me a weirdo. lolx. this feelin's far more worse than gettin results for olvl or for e pae or jae exercise.. e feelin's... undescribable.
11.15am >> saw my results n yesh! i did it. finally my daes of fear were gone. no more 3rd dec for me. though its not gd results, nor was is satisfyin to me. but im still glad tat i passed. cellbio. nv did i tot tat i'd actually pass cellbio. ok, ytd nite had 2 dreams. one dream was tat i passed cellbio juz by border lined marks. then i woke up. grinned n glad tat i passed. but my smile faded off as i brought myself back to reality. it was juz a dream. lolx. went back to slp. this time i dreamt tat i failed. it was horrible. n i woke up in a cold sweat. n tat explained y i closed my window aft i logged on to sas. lolx.. okies. my results, no a's as i had expected. nor any distinctions. its all b's, b+'s, c's n c+'s wif 1 d+.. not bad la. lookin at how i slacked thru e whole semester n burnin e last bit of midnight oil. only started revision 1 or 2 daes before e exams. i can actually passed my cellbio. no braggins here but e fact now is tat i passed my cellbio! *big fat grinns* ok back to topic. aft gettin results back. i know i did not fantastic at all, but i dread havin pp who obviously scored far better than me to actually tell me tat they did badly. ok fine. maybe pp hav far higher targets than i had. *shruggs*
i donno. im in a terrible state of mind now. being looked upon as a thorn in e flesh of e family. how do i actually make them know tat i do care bout e family n i am tryin to change myself to e ideal daughter tat they demand for? im tryin to but they aint givin me time to change. yet blamin tat i've mix wif e wrong cliques of friends since sec sch. they cant juz demand a total change in a person in juz a nite rite. wats worse, blamin my friends instead. im so disappointed. wif myself n my family. seekin for perfectionism is definitely e weakness tat worsen e relationship of e family.