i donno where to begin for this entry. somehow i felt so disappointed aft goin back todae. syf is like how many days away? bout 4 weeks time n yet e band practices were still kept as optional practices on some sats. frm juz todae's practice, it can really tell how much dedication one had put in for e band. i knoe its an optional prac but still, pp werent comin. standin on ms tan's pt of view, of coz i'll feel hurt. its no wonder she'd rather spend her time on her other bands. i asked shuqi bout whether alumnis can step in to interfere on attendance prob. i can rmb so clearly her reply was, "wat is this? do the members get e choice to even choose whether they can come for band during this period of time? at this pt of time when they are preparing for syf? we don even hav a choice not to come last time." she continued sayin tat, "i even cancelled the appointment i had wif my friends to come back n help out. n yet this is e commitment we get frm e members." e no. of alumnis comin todae was almost equal to e no. of members who came. n it seemed as though e alumnis were more panic n worried for e syf than e members. it was really hurtin n disappointin. where has all e commitments n dedications gone to? where has e promise tat were told to me last time gone to? i rmb smth i was told on e card u guys gave me last time tat i'll be done proud for syf'05 n bringing e gold back for me. i knoe tanglin this yr gettin a gold seemed rather a far target. but at least, let me see e dedication n sincerity of keepin to the word being said before. maybe some of e members do hav their genuine reasons for not coming. im not forcing, im not blaming. im juz puzzled by y e band has landed into such a state. frm wat i knoe n observed, some of e members had certainly changed alot. attitude wise. they werent like tat at all in e past. can someone tell me y? well, however harsh my tone may sound, however naggy i might hav been, im still concerned bout e welfare. n im sure tat i were definitely like tat before. somehow i seriously don see e bonding in e band anymore. i donno whether is it e tcher's fault or e members' fault. there's really a big prob yet to be solved n im sure this prob will be solved soon. hopefully. guys, watever it is.. i do believe in u pp. it will only be a 4 torturing weeks practices n had been proven tat it can be gotten over wif. perservere.