as usual, i've always had lots of mixed feelings and thoughts aft looking at my results. when my friends got their results, their reactions will always be, "haiz, my results so bad. gpa so low. how to get into uni? confirm cannot go liaox la. other pp all get so many distinctions. so sians." but whenever i asked them how much they got for their gpa, its always higher than me. so in fact, who will be the one who's feeling more down and disappointed in the end?
i wanted to try to cheer them up but i juz cant bring myself to it when the words i consoled them hav nv once successfully consoled myself before. the problem lies in me which i donno where the root is. no matter how hard i tried to study i'll always hav an average C grade for the module. its like once being defeated by my results, my confidence shook a little. so much so til now, i've nv for once hav confidence during exams anymore. in my way of doing things, im one who usually give up aft a few times things do not turn out right. yea, im a lazy bummer, im not a determined person, i don take my studies seriously, i give things up easily when things don work out right for me. i agree. but where has the fire tat burns strongly in me gone to? the drive in me is not there, i've got no motivation starting frm the beginning of my poly life til now.
now, pp always tell me the same thing. "nvm la, u still got ur last semester. work hard and u'll definitely be able to do much better. sure can one la don worry." its not one person, but all whom i've confided my emotions, my thoughts and my results to. n its not like i've nv worked hard. but the results werent fruitful. kind of disappointed in myself. stupid me. i guess i needed a more stronger console which can hit a greater impact in me.
sometimes i juz feel so lost.