whoa. im back finally. hahas, tot of starting the habit to blog down some of my thoughts.. again.

hmmm so much things happened since the last time i blogged. probably this post may juz be another emo blog again. lol.

somehow or rather i felt my life's getting rather stagnant. im kinda sick of it entirely. n i felt i may juz hav some kind of career depression. lol. its so bad that there's this period of time the moment i stepped into nhc i felt total depressed. but once i stepped out of the horrible place, i felt like a freed bird. once, i almost had the sudden urge to stop anything to do wif healthcare line and to change drastically from healthcare to accounting or even tourism and hospitality. i donno. i used to tink 'oh i know my purpose now, im gonna be in healthcare sector frm now onwards.' but its thru so much going-thrus, so much lessons and experiences i gained that i queried my purpose in life now.

sometimes i asked myself, is healthcare gonna be my iron rice bowl? n if it is, why aint i feeling happy to be in this line? why am i making myself to stay on when im not happy wif this job at all? i felt envious towards eva. i felt envious towards mimi. i felt so sad to always be organising farewell parties for my friends. seeing them one by one leaving made me have mixed feelings. sad but yet happy for them. when will it be my turn? *shruggs* now, the only motivation that drives me on is the $$ i get every month and my remaining khakis. im really lost.

on top of that, i felt something is lacking in my life. something is missing which i don hav a single idea what is it actually. i know there is smth missing but i donno what. i juz knew it. if not i wouldnt feel so motivationless everyday.

*emo-ing*

=(